"This Is Harder Than I Thought"

"This Is Harder Than I Thought"

by Caiden Garner 

No one really prepares you for the moment you step into a new chapter and realize comfort didn’t follow you through the door.

College is supposed to be exciting. A fresh start. A launch into adulthood. But if I’m being honest, it feels more like being shoved out of everything familiar and into a world that expects you to know how to survive without giving you a manual.

Suddenly, you’re juggling class schedules, bills, work shifts, and the kind of exhaustion that doesn’t go away after one good night of sleep. You’re expected to show up, stay focused, and keep moving—even when your body is tired and your mind is somewhere else entirely. You start learning how to stretch twenty dollars across a week, how to smile through burnout, and how to pretend you’re fine when you’re really just trying not to fall apart.

And it’s not just the schedule—it’s the pressure. The quiet panic of wondering if you’re doing enough. The guilt of not being able to afford things your classmates don’t think twice about. The fear that you’re falling behind, even when you’re giving it everything you’ve got.

I used to think adulthood would feel empowering. Like I’d finally be in control. But most days, it feels like I’m just trying to keep up. Like I’m constantly calculating how much I can give without completely burning out. And the truth is, I don’t always know where the line is.

I don’t have answers. I don’t have a five-year plan or a color-coded calendar that makes it all make sense. What I do have is the reality of showing up every day, even when it’s hard. Even when I’m tired. Even when I feel like I’m barely holding it together.

And maybe—for now—that’s enough.